Thursday, April 15, 2010

I Don't Wanna

Before I write this...I know it will work out, I know it will get better, but right now...I don't want to move.

I don't like packing with three children. I don't like having to make beds five times a day (the girls' beds each have to be made twice). I'm not enjoying trying to be sure that there is nothing out of place, loosing the convenience of where I typically store some things to make the house look nicer, taking down my family pictures, being afraid if what I'm cooking for dinner is too pungent smelling, or if we'll even be here to eat it. I don't like the extra work we're putting into the house that we'll never get to enjoy or even get our money back out from. I don't like hearing Kate say, "But I just wanna play!" when I have to ask the kids to clean up again so we can leave for another showing.

I can not stand the fact that we will have to come to closing with more than a year's worth of house payments! That makes me want to just mail the key to the bank and say, "See ya." We won't. It's not moral, it's not ethical, it's not fulfilling the promise we made to the bank, but my goodness is it tempting.

But it's also tempting to live complacently here. The move is full of good things--a raise, location to family, and more opportunities for Justin at work. Right now though, this is our home. It's safe, it's familiar, and short term, it's a better decision to stay financially.

I know, I know it will be fine. I know that we will make the move, but we were never told it would be easy, just that we would get through.

Wish me luck and pray we get an offer soon before I paint one of the children or make them into their bed!


Jessica said...

Thanks! Navigating the inner workings of the computer can be really frustrating. We (mostly my husband) finally got it figured out today. I guess we just needed to sleep on it.

I know how hard moving can be - I've done it over 20 times. Just look at it as a new adventure. Look up the place you're going, and set a list of things you want to see or do there with your family. Then you at least have something to look forward to, amid all the chaos.

Good luck!

rocketmommy said...

I feel for you. I'm about to head in the same direction. We're looking at putting our house up in the next few weeks though I only have 1 20 month old to contend with. I wish you the best of luck and hope it will all be worth it for you and your family in the end.

KentuckyGam said...

I wish that it wasn't so hard on you right now --- I wish I could be there to help you out --- I wish your house would hurry and sell so you can be closer to us sooner --- I wish I could take your kids for a while to give you a few minutes of peace & quiet or time to do the things you need to do. I am so proud of you for not doing the "easy" thing as far the house goes. I know of no one else who strives as hard as you to ALWAYS do the right and moral thing. Love you, Mama