Monday, April 7, 2008


I’ve had sciatica since shortly after Miss Gabby was born. I’ve seen a doctor and a physical therapist. They’ve concluded that my ligaments are looser than most people’s anyway and adding in the relaxin from pregnancy and the delivery my spine was loose enough to pinch the nerve. There isn’t much that we can do, since I’m breastfeeding, so finally I decided that I had to do something about the pain that has gotten so bad that I can’t stand for more than a few minutes.

I had the initial exam, and then I laid down to get the acupuncture treatment. She put in the first two needles and I was in tears. I have a huge needle phobia, so this was a big deal for me to try. I think the tears were more from the stress and frustration of the situation rather than the pain, which was there, but not tear worthy. She refused to go any further though, saying it shouldn’t still be hurting. I’m not sure if it was because one of the needles was misplaced or if my muscles and nerves are so inflamed that made it hurt.

I’ve missed out on quite a bit this weekend. I can’t do our family’s shopping. I missed a two mile walk with my family. I even missed church yesterday. I have found I can fold laundry while sitting on the bed. I can do the dishes if I take a few breaks. This morning I was able to get ready for the day: shower, comb my hair, and brush my teeth without having to take a break or crying.

Things that I typically take for granted are cause for celebration. Perhaps that is the lesson I’m supposed to learn. Maybe it’s that even if everything doesn’t get done the world won’t end. Maybe it’s that I need to learn to ask for help. I’m not quite sure, but I’m looking forward to being able to do all that I’m used to. Perhaps I’ll even find a day without pain. I hope so, but for now I’ll settle for getting my life back.

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