Flamed

So, if you've been around long, you've probably noticed I keep this place pretty uncontroversial.  I am unashamedly a Christian, a home schooler, and Southern, but I don't touch politics or most other subjects that stir up ire here, not because I don't have opinions on those matters, but because I know no one has changed my mind by spewing something on the internet.  If you want my take on those things, let's sit down and have a chat.

I got flamed for infant baptism in a comment.  I get notifications when a comment comes in, but I let it go until it was pointed out to me that the comment was on a recent post.  As it was posted not with my original post on my children being baptized, I have removed it.  He also linked to his own blog and it seemed that the reply was one copied and pasted, which is a bit spammy.

I've hemmed and hawed (see, southern there) about how to reply or whether to bother.  I decided to go ahead.  The commenter quoted scriptures that I've heard my entire life, including one about a whole family being baptized (in Acts 16), since our whole family includes children, this is where many decided paedobaptism is proper--if the head of the household believed the entire household was baptized.  That, and the transition from the blood sacrifices of the Old Testament to the water in the New.  The young boys of the Jewish faith were marked by circumcision, the people of the new covenant, including their children, are marked by baptism.

It took us being established in a church for a good while, sure we were ready to set down roots before we chose to have our children baptized.   Here is why...people often feel very strongly on this topic.  Justin and I feel that there are essentials, things that truly mark a people as Christian.  Infant versus adult baptism is not one of those.
     - Jesus told the thief next to him that he would join him in paradise. (No chance to be baptized)
     - We are told to go to heaven the only thing we MUST do is believe.  (No requirement to be baptized)
     - And as for the full submersion, I've read arguments that the river wasn't full enough to allow that, not that I'm sure that it matters...

So, if you want to pick a fight, you came to the wrong place.  We have chosen to fall under the authority of our local church, which recommends infant baptism.  If you choose to wait to have your children baptized, I see no fault in that either.  If that's what your church requires, then it is good you are under the authority they have, so long as the foundational theology is accurate.

The one thing I did disagree completely with Mr. Commenter on is that little children have not sinned and do not need to repent.  Little children do not need to be taught to be selfish or deceptive.  Our one year old has been hiding behavior that she knows we disapprove of for months.  She will take things that she knows don't belong to her and hide them.  No one taught her how.  She is fallen, but she is loved and forgiven.

Now, you can comment, since I brought it up. :)  I won't even delete it this time, so long as you are civil.

What is Underneath

Last week our van was in a little mishap. It is really a teeny dent on the driver's side fender, but that little dent caused it to bow in the back, making it hard to open the driver's door (actually more damage was done in opening the door--pushing the fender in a bit at the back) and the paint was peeling. Obviously it had to be repaired.

Justin is pretty good with cars and after the sticker shock from the body shop he opted to put on a new fender himself. It is just a bunch of bolts, right? Oh, and a lot of time.


He spent the day Saturday removing the fender (by way of the tire, hood, headlight, and side view mirror, as there were bolts to remove under all of those items). He begins to install the new fender and then he finds that one of those places that bolts run through has been bent a bit. Just enough that he can't attach the new fender that was already in place.



Looking at it now, with the new fender on, all you can see is that it needs a little paint. The van looks like it has been repaired, but underneath the truth is that if you tried to drive the van at highway speed the pretty new fender might well be ripped away, showing that bent piece of metal that is hidden.

How often do we try to fix ourselves? Sometimes we can take care of it ourselves, but other times we have no idea how broken we are until we pull back that exterior. Then we can either put a new cover over ourselves and pretend that all is well until life speeds past us and rips that new skin off or we can look at ourselves and see we are broken past our ability to fix it and take our hearts to the One who is skilled in these repairs. We couldn't see that when the project began: we had to start somewhere, but now we know. Thankfully we have a gracious Father in heaven who will take care of us, take off that band-aid that did nothing but hide the ugliness, and truly repair us. After all, He sent His Son here so we can be fixed up forever.

It costs more, it takes longer, but the right fix will be better in the end.

Grace

We've been teaching Kate to pray since she was a little bity girl. There's a book we wore out called "Prayer for a Child" that we read with her almost every night for her first year and a half. She's been saying our dinner grace for over a year now. She started with a memorized grace that we taught her, but now she's learning to create her own prayers of Thanksgiving. She's been thanking God for the food on our table and for the events of her day that have brought her joy. Lately we've heard, "Thank you for the opportunity to play." and "Thank you that I got to do what I want." Childish prayers to be sure, but I am so pleased that my little gal is able to pray to her Heavenly Father.

Of course, Gabby likes to get in on the action to. She'll say, "God" at the beginning and babble her own little prayer. I can't wait to hear what she's thankful for too.

I am thankful for two little girls who are learning how to pray and a three year old who uses the word oppurtunity correctly in a sentence.

Resurrection Day

This morning began at o’dark early, as one of Justin’s former colleagues used to the say. We rose well before the sun and got the girls up.

For Kate and I, we went down stairs to our tomb to anoint Jesus’ body with oil and spices. Or as Kate put it, “To salt Jesus.”

Her reaction was a little less excited than I expected, perhaps because of the early hour, nearly two hours before she normally rises.

She looked at the empty burial cloths.



Then she turned to tomb upside down to be sure nothing was inside.



Finally she found Jesus, elsewhere on the table.

She ran upstairs and told her Daddy, “He has risen.”

I think while she wasn’t as excited as I had expected, she still seemed to get the object lesson. We went to the sunrise service at church and she heard the scripture passage that our lesson came from. She smiled at that.

We don’t do the Easter bunny around here, but the girls did get baskets with a little candy, toothbrushes, and shoes. They also got to hunt for Easter eggs after church. They’ve had a tired day, so they’re in their bath a few minutes early tonight.

Palm Sunday

It’s Palm Sunday. Our oldest daughter got to carry in a palm branch this year for the first time. She mostly shook it and tried to bump it into her neighbor’s branch as they sang, but I have learned that with Kate everything is stored in her little mind. What seemed not to have an impact right now, will be talked about over the next several months and perhaps even years.

We had a little chat about Holy week and what Jesus did for us. How He chose to go into the city, knowing that He would die. Taking our sin. I think the thing she got the most out of our talk was the fact that people threw their “coats” (cloaks) in the street. She also was surprised that people would want to kill God. That’s a tough one to explain to a munchkin, but we did our best.

This is they year I had planned to really introduce her to the Easter story. I think she’s reaching an age that she will start to understand it. She’s heard the story, but I have been waiting since she was one to introduce a plan that I learned about in a MOPS group in Alabama.

Here’s the basic idea… On Good Friday, you cover the cross in your house with black cloth. Then you either take a doll or other item, wrap it in strips of cloth. Then place it in a “cave,” which can be made out of anything from Legos to paper machete. Cover the opening with a rock. Then Sunday morning the girls are to rise early to go and anoint the body with oil (a little bottle of perfume). Of course when you get there, the stone has been moved. The cloths are there, but the doll is gone. You then go to wake the men of the house. She gets to live the Easter story in the shoes of the women who first found the empty tomb. She hasn’t heard the story enough times that I think she’ll be expecting it. I can’t wait to see her reaction. What will she do?

Strong Willed

Yeah, with that title I could be talking about me, but I'm not!

It seems that while Kate was sick she was storing all that energy she was conserving. She has been quite the handful this week. I never know what’s next. I thought she’d learned her lesson about salt and pepper shakers (see here), but I guess I was naive to think that. This week I found her lying on the kitchen table with them. I will say at least she wasn’t eating it this time, she was just drawing in the “dust.”

She’s been defiant and screaming a lot. That’s hard because when her volume goes up, I find mine doing the same. Some of it is an attempted to be heard over her, but after a second I realize that yelling back isn’t helping. It’s hard. She doesn’t seem to follow an instruction unless it’s loud or has a consequence attached to it. Or both. And sometimes not even then.

She’s bright and she’s strong willed. This is going to be a battle, but hopefully we’ll get through this now, so that as she grows older she’s willing to submit to her boundaries, at least most of the time. Justin and I were both pretty compliant. My sister probably doesn’t fit that category as well, but she was not so loud and in your face about defying the rules, so we have little practical experience with it.

I'm hoping that her stick-to-it-iveness will serve her well. I know it's gotten me through a lot of difficult times.

And it's hard to discipline when she looks like this. Please excuse the mess. Justin emptied out our only storage in the house looking for a book while I was out and got this picture of Kate in his old hat.

We do know that God wants us to submit to Him. Since He is our heavenly Father, we know that the example we, as her earthly parents have her abide by may be how she views her relationship with Him. It’s a big challenge, but hopefully someday Kate will be a blessing for all. Goodness knows she’s full of fun and joy. So long as she can find a way to reign in some of her wild nature and defiance, she will truly be a great young lady. And hopefully she won’t still be sitting in time out when she’s thirty. Just joking, of course—sort of.

The Blessing of Children (part I)

Recently Justin and I have been hearing quite a few negatives about large families (not from everyone of course). And I’m not talking about octuplets. I’m talking about three kids. What?! Since when is that big? My dad was one of six and my best friend growing up was one of six too (her parents had brothers and sisters that they didn’t even know because there were so many of them and they were so spread out).

We prayed for many years before we were granted Kate. Then Gabby came quickly there after. Through out the Bible there are examples of women, once barren who were given one or more children: Sarah, Rebeka, Hannah, and Elizabeth. We are grateful to have one child and overjoyed to have been granted two children to love and raise. We love children and hope to see our family grow at least one more time. Why would such a blessing from God been seen as a bad thing?

We know we aren’t alone. Some of our dear friends are having their third child, and they are often asked if they decided to try for that boy (they have two little beautiful, intelligent girls too). And it’s assumed that this is their last “chance.” It makes them (and me) frustrated. They don’t think three is too many, nor do they try to have more children, just so they can have a certain gender. They love children and believe that they are a blessing!

We had a negative comment when I was expecting our second child, now one of Justin’s colleagues was pressing him because we have “reached our replacement value” by having two. In his mind that meant we shouldn’t even consider adding to our family. We don’t believe that families should be based on “replacing ourselves.” But if we did, do we get to have the extra credits for the fact his parents only had one child and my sister doesn’t plan to have any? Who gets to decide?

What does God say? Well, if you read the Levitical code, the instructions for relations between a husband and wife pretty well set them up to conceive more children. If you’ve ever studied natural family planning, the instructions in Leviticus are written to wait to have relations until the woman is at her most fertile time. He wanted lots of Israelites. More people to worship Him, do things His way, care for others, live according to His laws. If Christians are continually out populated, how can we reach the hurting? We can’t!

My children are a blessing and a gift. I'm not saying everyone needs to have lots (or any) children, but I will be joyful in my blessings--2 or 15.


Support Verses:

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. –Psalm 127:3-5

Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there. –Matthew 19:13-15

Leviticus 15:19-28

Besides, when your kids are this cute, how can you stop at just two?

Compassion

It’s a trait we want to teach our children. To love others, to care about their plight, to actually get up and help. At their current ages these actions can be somewhat limited. It’s not the easiest task to get them in and out of the grocery store, so the idea of taking them to go volunteer somewhere is near ‘daunting’ in my book. I feel like I would be more of a hindrance than a help. I know that I couldn’t do the work sorting clothes that I had done at a pregnancy support center when I was first married. The laying tile I was doing when Justin and I first fell in love in Chicago is totally out of the question—sharp knives and two small children, no way. I’m not in a financial place that I have a lot of money to donate, not that my kids would learn a lot from that anyway.

I mentioned my quandary at a MOPS meeting and one of the other moms gave an example of something she did when she only had one child. They would go and visit an adult day care. It was her daughter that actually got to do the ministering. She was facilitating her young child as a light in these people’s lives. I have some thinking to do. I’m not sure if this will be the exact route we take, but it is food for thought.

I try to help my girls, especially Kate, since she’s old enough to start understanding, do some things that are for others. She helps me make food for Justin’s students and colleagues. We went Christmas caroling in December and other small things through out the year. We try to discuss these things and how they make people feel with her, but there’s a lack of the on going. I want the girls to always be on the look out for ways to do for those around them. I want compassion to be such a part of them that it’s always there.

I know that this unabashed compassion has repercussions. It can cause anguish. You can see every need around you, even those things you can do nothing about. It can cause you to be taken advantage of. But truly, if that is the worst, isn’t it more than worth the cost? If I am taken advantage of, am I truly the fool? I don’t think so.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. (Matthew 5:38-42)

We are to give what they ask for and even more. And there are, of course, the warnings that we may be “entertaining angels unawares” and Jesus’ story of the sheep and goats (Matthew 25:41-46). We never know whose needs we are meeting and the life effects that our kindness will have not only on others, but on ourselves as well.

Speaking of Compassion—here’s a place to get involved if you’re looking. You can sponsor a child, paying for their needs (such as educational costs, medical care, and the opportunity to learn about Jesus), writing to the child, and praying for him or her. It’s a great program.

Get this widget!

A Child's Prayer

Kate says grace before dinner each night. We taught her a simple grace that she repeated for quite some time. Recently she's been using other prayers. I think she learned a different one at MOPS and now she's making her own prayers of thanksgiving. The other night, as she was saying her childish prayer, she prayed, "Dear God, all creation, butta butta boo. In your name, Amen."

"Thank you for saying grace Kate, but next time, can be sure to thank God for our food."

"Sometimes it gets a little lost in my head."

I think sometimes it gets a little lost in all of our heads.

Weathering Some Stormy Days

I haven’t posted in a few days because, well, sometimes when a bit of a tornado passes through you need some time to sort things out. Life has been a bit tumultuous here. We are trying to process quite a bit of financial information regarding Justin’s place of employment. It will affect a great number of people, reaching far beyond our little family. While this will cause some difficulties for us, we pray that the problems are no greater than ours for all the others around us. We’re praying that we will be able to keep this position, since there will be cuts made. We pray that those that lose this income will be granted all that they need to make it through the coming months and years ahead.

We’ve weathered some difficult times in the course of our near ten year marriage. Moves, the loss of friends and family members, planned children (that still somehow surprised us), lots of school(!), changes in careers, and many personal trials. Through this we have always known that God will provide. There were times that we’ve wondered why our plans weren’t what God chose, but things have always worked out, God’s way. We found out Gabby was on the way right after Justin was told he was going to be let go from his last position, but we were granted this job. I believe that if He chooses for this phase of our life to end, it’s only because He has another place that He’s working on. (Matt 6:25-34) Somewhere we might not have looked had we been comfortable here. If we’re to stay, we will be glad in His mercy to let us continue to build our relationships here and to be provided for financially through this position.

I’m considering outside employment too. That’s been something we’ve talked about off and on for awhile, wondering when in the lives of our children this transition would be best, but at current, it may be our only “choice.” Perhaps there are children in a classroom in need of me. If that be, then perhaps this series of events was the only way I could be motivated to return to work. Perhaps my children need some time apart from each other. I truly don’t know the whys, and I may never know. I do know I felt prompted to get my teaching license; perhaps it was “for such a time as this.” (Ester 4:14)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" - Jeremiah 29:11-13

Praise be to the Father who sits upon His throne.

Couch time

Our first attempt at couch time was Sunday evening. The first ten minutes went off without a hitch. We did have to tell Kate we were busy talking several times, but that’s pretty normal. We really do that pretty often, so it seemed that we really are doing this already. Then Kate went to the bathroom. Gabby, now without her playmate, was climbing up my leg. Then as I pried her off of me yet again, we here a plea from the bathroom, Kate needed help. These are things that regardless of how intentional we were had to be addressed, so we did. We got the girls settled back in to playing and finished our time.

Okay, so the first one was typical life with kids. We thought we had it pretty well down though. Right? Wrong.

So on Tuesday we sit down to have a little chat. Kate is mad at the world because she refused her nap. We spent most of our time “talking” straining to hear over the screaming. Not a little wailing now and then a full out scream. It was lovely. It lasted thirteen of the fifteen minutes. The baby was whining, after all her playmate wasn’t playing. I’m not even sure what we talked about.

The rest of the week was much less eventful, pleasant for us, but not much in the way of blog fodder. One time Kate played in her room the whole time, not something she does often, after all the only person she gets to talk to there is herself and she is quite the people person.

Note: not our couch--we don't even own a couch...it died when we moved. The poor thing got crushed. We do couch time in chairs. Sad?

Sunday School

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. – Acts 2:42 (NIV)

When I was growing up my parents were part of a great Sunday School class. Actually they still are. They’ve been members of this class for about 25 years. The people are wonderful, and after 25 years they have a strong bond. As kids we went to picnics, swimming parties, and (of course) potlucks. My parents served on a lot of committees, saw out some building and renovation projects, and my mom was the church secretary for several years too, so we grew up literally “in” the church. The classrooms were our play rooms, my sister and I memorized the Apostle’s Creed while standing in the pulpit (it was taped to it, so if anyone leading ever forgot it was right there), and we spent a lot of time playing in the evenings with the other members' children.

I have moved from town to town and church to church. I have never seen quite the bond that they have there. One thing that is quite different is that most churches don’t have the on-going classes. They offer a topic and who ever wishes to attend goes until that topic is complete and then everyone switches again. This offers more freedom in study choice, but doesn’t lend itself to the unity of the long term class.

The baby is finally old enough to stay in the nursery, so we decided to join a Sunday School class being offered by our church this past Sunday. It’s a study for families with children, so we’re hoping that this class will give us a link to some of the people in the church we’ve been attending since we moved here 16 months ago.

The first part of the class has focused on how to keep our homes from being child centered. It’s completely counter-intuitive and also the complete opposite of what seems to be screaming at us from every angle these days, but it’s true. We, as a married couple, need to show our children that there is a solid relationship between their parents ad that they aren’t the center of the universe. We think we do a decent job on this, but perhaps there are points we can refine.

Homework for lesson I:

We are to spend have four sessions of couch time. That’s 15 to 30 minutes that we sit and talk while the kids can’t interrupt. We already do this with much less intentionality when Justin gets home in the afternoons. We will be sure to do this, not over dinner preparations or from across the room, like we often do though. As the idea was explained, I immediately thought of Gabriella though. How do we explain this to a one year old. She’s just not going to get it. I understand the point—that we have time to talk and that the children see that we have a relationship aside from them. That will give them assurance too that their parents’ marriage is secure. It seemed questionable from a practical standpoint though. We’d give it a try.

We’ve had our first session and it was pretty funny, but I’ll write at the end of the week and see how it all turns out.

My Girls

A friend came by the other day while Kate was napping, so it was just the two of us with Gabby. She commented on how quiet Gabby was being that day and I chuckled. Nope, this is just Gabby. It’s hard for people to notice much about her when Kate’s always around stealing the show.

We don’t notice Gabby quietly studying a toy by turning it over and over in her hands, or that she sat still for 15 minutes examining the knots on the knotted quilt. She likes to take things apart. She can empty her bookshelf in no time at all. She’s also good at finding the slightest imperfection in said books and pulling it, ripping the book. She can stack rings and put items into a shape sorter. She’s walking. All those things are in the normal range for this age, but they are all things that Kate didn’t do at this age. Kate was busy talking. To me. Her Daddy. The person pushing the next cart in the grocery aisle. It’s so interesting how two children can be so different. So altogether different.

God granted us two children who will not be the same, but will compliment each other. This will of course mean that over the years there will be strife, when they have differing views, but He knew what He was doing when He sent us our Kate and then our Gabriella, who isn’t quite so gabby, despite what we may call her. They love each other dearly. Besides, this way Kate gets to do most of the talking and Gabby lets her sister distract us while she takes things apart. They already have it all figured out.

Contemplating an ornament.

Psalm 139

To Santa or Not to Santa

We’ve started talking to Kate about the poverty in the world and she gets it in a child’s way. The other day she wanted to know what we could do for someone in particular. When I started to answer her question, she stopped and me and said, “But she’ll get gifts from Santa.”

Hmmm. What a conundrum. I want her to enjoy the Santa myth. Goodness knows it took several years and a few “expert opinions” to convince my husband to go along with it. At the same time, I want her to know the need is very real. I told her that, “Santa can’t do it by himself.” The need is too great.

Perhaps that’s a good reminder to us. God expects us to do His work here on earth. It's easy to live our sheltered little lives, allowing ourselves to believe that Santa/God will take care of everyone else. We are His instruments. Just like Santa needs our help, God expects us to do good here. I won’t say He needs us. He is the creator of the whole universe. I think He can handle things just fine, but He expects us to do it. He blesses us to let us do it.

Theology from a Three Year Old: He Runs

The theology lessons with a three year old are so interesting. They look at things with innocence and at the same time with an understanding that is beyond that of adults who look at things through the foggy lens of busy-ness.

Last night Justin and Kate were talking about life after death. She’s learning the Apostles’ Creed, so it’s a natural question coming from that. She asked, “When we die, Jesus comes to get us?”

“Yes,” Justin answered.

“Does He come in a car?”

“No, Kate.”

“He runs!”

Yes, Kate, He’ll run to you.

It reminded me of this song--click to enjoy.

As a parent there is a fine line we walk. We have to demand our children’s obedience without becoming impatient. There can’t be a lacksidaisical approach, at least if you have a two year old like mine who pushes every limit.

Our minister offered a lesson in patience this past Sunday and I’ve been trying to examine my discipline through the lens of that sermon. There are some gray areas. There are times that I must demand her immediate obedience. These are times that it’s hard to determine, even in my own mind if I am being impatient or expecting what is necessary—to keep her safe, the baby’s needs met, etc. There are times I meet her opposition with love and grace. Times that I am completely in control, even when she is out of it. There are other times that I must admit I am impatient. I know I need to discipline her to do as she is told, but that should be done in a sense of love and duty, not frustration. That can be difficult with a hard headed two year old.

He offered that we should each put ourselves in a position to have our patience tested—anyone need some practice? I’ll lend you my two year old for a couple of hours. Just kidding.

Discipline your son, and he will give you peace;
he will bring delight to your soul.-Proverbs 29:17

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. –Hebrews 12:11

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. -Colossians 3:12

Heaven Help Me, I Laughed

We frequently talk to Kate about God and we pray before meals and at bed time. She asks lots of interesting questions, like “Does Jesus have a house? What is God’s name? And what does the “Holly” ghost look like?”

Last night really got Justin though. They were getting ready to say her prayers when she declared she wanted to pray to Koko—the signing gorilla we have a book about. He tried to distract her, but it didn’t work. She started praying, “Our Koko who art in heaven, hallowed be Koko’s name, Koko’s kingdom come…” At that point he couldn’t get her to stop and left. I think it’s pretty impressive that she can recite the Lord’s Prayer, but that she could make the appropriate substitution amused me. She’s only two and doesn’t have a clue that what she did was sacrilegious. It does show that we still have our work cut out for us, as we teach her to be a woman of God.

And don’t worry she was back talking to God today. She even made her Veggie Tales toys say grace before they “ate.” I wonder what they eat—other than chocolate bunnies of course (see Rack, Shack and Benny).