Life Lessons for a Three Year Old

A very wise woman (on my Facebook friend's list) once said, "Whoever said the twos were terrible obviously didn't make it to the threes."

Even in their rebellion our girls are different. Kate destroyed things. And honestly Gabby has broken a couple of slats on the mini blind, but that is far from our biggest issue with her.

See, the thing that most motivated Kate to be good was getting to go out, and she loved to shop. That is on Gabby's list of undesirable activities. So last week as we went Christmas shopping, I had to carry her into the store, and then carry her back out again (while carrying the baby boy). He could walk, but I haven't let him in on this fact yet. I learned when the girls found that they could walk in the store that I had a very hard time getting them to be held or ride in a cart, ever, even when we needed to make a long trip.

Then Monday I had to take her out again. We were nearly out of milk, we had to have more before dinner. We didn't even make it past the greeter. She was laying in the floor screaming. Joy.

I half drug, half carried her out of the store.

Later when she asked for a snack I told her that we didn't have enough food for a snack today. She was ready to go back then! I'm a big fan of logical consequences, when I can find them.

We went back and had a relatively uneventful trip...until we were all ready to leave. Except for our resident three year old. She refused to put on her coat. I reminded her it was cold. She balked. She balks a lot these days.

Finally I handed her coat and told her she had to carry it to the car. It was cold enough that I knew she would be uncomfortable, but not dangerously so and she was wearing a sweater. I figured I looked like less of a monster if it was clear she had a coat and just wasn't wearing it. This plan worked perfectly...until half way through the crosswalk. When she started begging for her coat, instead of stopping the cart full of groceries, managing her brother and sister while bending to her new whim, I had the audacity to cheerfully tell her that, "I will be happy to help you with your coat when we get to the van."

Oh, she was mad. How dare I not do exactly what she wanted at the inconvenience to everyone else in the busy parking lot, despite her obvious disobedience earlier?! It resulted in a lot of screaming, more half dragging, a 'putting into' the van (as she would not go willingly), and a rather difficult car seat strapping, as she kept trying to get out as I was fastening the straps.

In short it was unpleasant. But you know what? Yesterday she wore her coat. She learned a lesson that all the lecturing in the world wouldn't have taught and she won't likely forget soon.

We are being very intentional with disciplining Gabby. We have heard stories of many middle children who got into a lot of trouble because their parents weren't paying attention. It was easiest to move through life without making waves and these children are often more quiet than their out going older siblings and the babies of the family. We love her and want what is best, even if it means a hissy fit or two along the way.