There have been a few things that pointed to it lately. Justin asked me what I'd like to study more. I was at a loss on that one. I had thought when when we lived in Kansas that I would go to get a Master's degree when the kids were all in school, of course things have changed. 'All in school' would have only been one year off from now when that plan was originally hatched, but we decided to home school and add Ellie. Plus the offer for a spouse to get a free degree, here, is limited to a bachelor's degree. So there is no pressing need to decide anything anyway, so I guess I gave up thinking about it.
Then, I was telling my mother that we were letting the older kids each choose a bigger special outing to do with one of us this summer. We'd talked about horseback riding, a train ride, pottery painting, and a number of other possibilities. She mentioned that Justin and I were being left out. To be honest...I hadn't even thought about what I would like to do, aside from something special with a munchkin. I think I've become boring!
I am not the reader of fine literature I once was...now I read board books, home school book reviews, and mommy blogs as I nurse a little one, punctuated by the "Mama! Mama!" chorus line.
Speaking of chorus lines, I have moved from singing choral works and soprano solos to bedtime serenades, made up songs to teach math facts and geography, and little ones' favorites to soothe tears.
I'm not studying for exams; I'm studying schedules, lesson plans, and the children's books with them.
So, perhaps I'm not absorbed, simply immersed for a stage in time. Just as at one time I put myself into studying as a student or later into trying to be a good teacher, now I am immersed in motherhood. Right where I should be. And I am using all those things I once did in this motherhood gig.
Some day when the children have flown the nest, or are at least more independent, maybe I'll go and hunt for something new to be immersed in. Or something old. But for now, I'm all in.
It is so unusual these days to find parents who aren't looking to have some time to themselves. We never took that time either. Some would say that parents need to get away to make their marriages stronger but I don't think ours suffered any by not taking time out for just us. At that time in our lives we were a family --- 1st and foremost!! Glad to see that you and Justin are putting your family first. They won't be with you for long (even though I'm sure sometimes now it doesn't seem that way). But if you ever find something you'd like to do, you know where to find someone to watch your little ones who loves them too!!
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